There are two types of relationships - friendship ties and fraternal ties.
The bonds of friendship, friendship and friendship are relationships that are subject to choice. A person has the power to choose who his friends will be and from whom he will sever the relationship, and the way of the world is that friendships change and change over the years. Whoever is good and pleasant to me in his company will be my friend, and whoever is not good in my eyes will not be. The fraternal ties between a man and his brothers are different from the moment of his birth until his death from the world and are not subject to his discretion. Man cannot choose his siblings, parents, or children. While he can choose how much to be in touch with his brother, he can never make his brother cease to be a member of his family.
Demonstration in front of the Campus for the Liberation of Abductees | Moshe Ben-Simhon, Reuters
Modern culture sanctifies personal and free choice. The prevailing perception in the Western world downplays the importance of innate data and enhances the place of personal choices. Unlike the ancient world where a person's birth data would determine where he would live, what he would do, who he would marry and how he would live, the modern world encourages every person to live and act as he pleases. He has the power to choose every detail of his life story - from profession to spouse, from religious perception to sexual identity. In such a world, it is natural to expect that the bonds of friendship that can be chosen will be stronger and stronger than the bonds of brotherhood that are decreed upon man from birth. But surprisingly, even in our own world, the bonds of brotherhood are stronger and more stable than the bonds of friendship.
Blood is thicker than water, and bonds of brotherhood are stronger and more important than bonds of friendship. Even when siblings choose to separate from each other, the bond between them is not severable. Even when the reason for the distance is a quarrel over resources, the affinity for the brother is more precious than all the covetousness of property
The relationship between Abraham and his nephew Lot runs aground. As unfortunately happens in many families, Avraham and Lot also quarrel over property and resource issues. In order to avoid a quarrel, they decide to separate from each other - "And Abram said to Lot: Let there be no quarrel between me and you, and between my neighbor and your neighbor, for we are brothers... Separate me from me if the left and Imna and if the right and Ashmaila" (Genesis 13:8-9). Indeed, Lot chooses to sit in Sodom and Abraham settles in Hebron. Over the past year, we have heard quite a bit of the quote "we are brotherly people" as a call for unity and connection. The quoters seem to have forgotten that Abraham says these words to Lot precisely as an explanation for why they should separate from each other. Indeed, Abraham and Lot separate in order to avoid a pecuniary dispute – "because they had a lot of property and could not sit together" (ibid., 6). But as is the way of brotherhood, even though they chose to separate from each other, the relationship between Abraham and Lot does not break off.
In the following chapter, the Torah tells of the "First World War" - the war of the four kings of the north against the five kings in the Dead Sea area. As expected, the large and powerful northern coalition emerges from the campaign with the upper hand - "and they will take all the procurement of Saddam and Umrah and all their food and go. And they took Lot and his purchase, the son of my brother Abram, and they went" (Genesis 14:11-12). Upon hearing the news of Lot's capture, Abraham immediately embarked on the rescue mission. He raises an army, pursues the enemy, beats him hard and rescues Lot from his captors. Returning victorious from the war, the king of Sodom offers Abraham to take his property as spoils of war, but Abraham adamantly refuses to take even "from string to shoelace." This is despite the fact that property and pecuniary conflict were the original reason for the separation between Abraham and Lot, and in any case it was conceivable that Abraham would want to take from the property of Sodom for himself.
We, like Abraham and Lot, his nephew, quarreled and drifted apart. We, like them, thought that we would no longer be able to sit together and said, "If the left and trained." But it turns out that the brotherhood that is not dedicated to our choice is immune from any quarrel
It seems that this is the whole point of the story in shaping the character of Abraham and the lesson that we are required to learn from him for generations. Blood is thicker than water, and bonds of brotherhood are stronger and more important than bonds of friendship. Even when siblings choose to separate from each other, the bond between them is not severable. Even when the reason for the distance is a quarrel over resources, the connection to the brother is more precious than all the covetousness of property. When his nephew is taken prisoner, Avraham mobilizes every possible force to rescue him. With courage and bravery, at great self-risk, without any consideration of personal benefit and gain.
"The act of the patriarchs signified to the sons," said our sages. We, like Avraham our forefather and Lot, his nephew's son, quarreled and distanced ourselves. We, like them, thought that we would no longer be able to sit together and said "mother of the left and trained" - and separated to right and left. We already thought for a moment that the friendship with our partners in outlook is stronger than the brotherhood into which we were born. But it turns out that biology is stronger than ideology, and brotherhood that is not dedicated to our choice is immune from any quarrel. When we heard that our brothers had been taken prisoner, we bravely came to the rescue and beating, without considerations of benefit and without thinking about the reward. We wait and pray that, just like in the days of Abraham, our forces will return our brothers and sisters in trouble and captivity, adorned with a crown of salvation and a crown of victory on their heads. In brotherhood we will win.
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