What do we really know about his grandparents or even his parents? The guide to essential questions to ask

What do we really know about his grandparents or his parents?

Despite the time spent together, sometimes there are few details about the lives of certain family members.

The reason is simple, according to Elizabeth Keating, an American professor of anthropology at the University of Texas at Austin.

In an article written by her and published on December 22 on

website , the specialist states: "Many of us don't know how to start a conversation that gives older people the opportunity to talk about their experiences. ".

To remedy this, the specialist establishes a guide to truly get to know her loved ones.

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Put aside his “usual role” in the family

It was only after the death of her own parents that Elizabeth Keating realized she knew nothing about the founding periods of their lives, namely childhood and adolescence.

Trained in anthropology, this is how she decided to establish a questionnaire to learn more about the details of the lives of her loved ones (other than major events such as births, marriages, or deaths ).

The secret ?

First, put aside his “usual role” within the family.

"Forget, during the interview, our role as grandchild or child, niece or nephew, and think like an anthropologist when trying to understand a way of life or a culture that he knows little about explains the author of the book

essential

.

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Asking about objects and social life

It is then a question of questioning the elderly person of his choice by asking him to describe his daily life when he was a child.

Elizabeth Keating advises, for example, to seek details on the social interactions of the time: how romantic relationships, friendships, or even with the neighborhood worked.

It also invites to learn about the styles of education or the fears that children had in the past.

“If you ask questions about social life, you will get descriptions that will give you an idea of ​​what it was like to be a child in his time,” promises the anthropologist.

Finally, the specialist encourages questioning the person about objects that are important to them, about what is transmitted materially from generation to generation in the family.

“These ordinary objects can convey stories about family life,” she concludes.

Finally, to (re)discover the members of his family, it may be enough just to ask.